My Story

I have always loved to write and in the last few years I have published many books on various subjects. I noticed a while back - after a bad car crash - that I was having a lot of problems.

• Stiffness in my lower back
• Cramping and burning in my feet and toes
• Extremely tender and stiff Achilles tendons
• Severe pain when touching (even lightly) various bones eg. fingers, shins, collarbone
• Stiff joints (all over)
• Nerve type pains in face, top of head, feet, and chest
• Blurry vision
• Anxiety
• Poor balance
• Confusion and memory problems
• Difficulty remembering simple words eg table, chair
• Depression
• Insomnia

There were other things that came and went (and still do).

I went to my doctor for an ear infection and made a list before I went. I sat in his office and blurted it all out, saying that I knew it was probably just my age and that all these things couldn't possibly be connected but ...

That was the first mention of fibromyalgia.

My doctor talked about painkillers, anti-depressants and counselling. I laughed and said that they wouldn't be needed. I had managed this long and surely there would be an end to it eventually.

He tried, he really did, to explain it to me, but I wasn't listening. I went home and googled it.

And my world fell apart.

How could I possibly have an incurable, debilitating illness like that? No, it definitely wasn't that!

I refused to go back for help even though my doctor had explained that it would make my life easier.

Eventually, I cracked a tooth. The dentist had to do a surgical extraction and remove part of my jaw bone. He apologised and told me that I would be in agony for a few days but it would be well on the way to healing within six months. He gave me strong painkillers (Ixprim - Tramadol and Paracetamol together) and told me to come back in three days.

Those three days were the best days I'd had in years! I was able to walk! Go upstairs without crawling! Get through a day! I hadn't realised how bad the pain had been until the pain relief took it away.

I went back to my doctor. He kept me on Ixprim and added Amytriptyline (low dose - to reduce the anxiety and help me sleep) and arranged counselling.

I fell into a black depression.

How could I keep taking tablets for the rest of my life? Without the pills I would, once again become virtually crippled - limping through life, mentally as well as physically.

I cried. And cried. And screamed. And panicked.

And then the counselling began to kick in.

These days, I know that although there are bad days, there are always good days too. I keep a pain diary and I have noticed that although there is always something to write in it, it has become a lot more positive than it was for those first entries.

I hope that other sufferers will find a little hope through my story and that together we can give help and support whenever it is needed.